Schmuck

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Maybe it’s just me, but when you hike with a group is there always somebody who should just keep their mouth shut?  They probably mean well; there might be a shade of truth to what they say, but still…

Aimed at the guy who just asked we take another break – “No problem, pal. Before I lost that 20 pounds I couldn’t go a hundred yards without stopping like you.”

You're right – While I stand here trying to catch my breath, I’ll just make a note to call Jenny Craig as soon as we get back.


To the person who brings up the rear on that quarter mile uphill climb - “You should try hiking poles like mine.  Maybe they'll help you keep up.” (And no, he wasn’t offering a short trial of his.)

Thanks, man.  I’ll try that next time.


Then I complain about the bugs – the swarm of mosquitoes that didn’t realize OFF was supposed to keep them away.  “Mosquitoes are attracted to carbon dioxide.  Maybe you give off a lot of CO2.”

Pause to think of an appropriate response…

Schmuck

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